Last night I attended the Glacier Creek Middle School Band Concert. In addition to being reminded that wooden bleachers are very uncomfortable, I learned something about bandteacherspeak. When a band teacher says, "We really stretched our students with this number," what she really intends to say is "This number stinks."
At the end of an already-way-too-long concert, we were subjected to several numbers by members of the University of Wisconsin Alumni Band. The band teacher -- who bears a striking resemblance to Bobbi Mohan-Culp -- is an alum of the UW Band, and she obviously was enjoying this trip down memory lane more than anyone in the audience.
I have never been in a school band -- though I was in a pretty awesome KISS-tribute air band during my sophomore year in high school -- but I have noticed that people who play in bands often act as if they believe that those of us in the stands wish we were in the band, too. It's hard to pin down, but I get the sense that they actually think we are jealous of them. How else can you explain the Stanford Band? Anyway, last night I did my best to explain to my daughter that, though I love her dearly, my love is in no way contingent on her being a member of the band.
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1. Posted by Christine on December 19, 2006 @ 13:40 | Permalink
Gordon, as a non-band member who married into a band family, I am also fascinated by this phenomenon of band members secretly believing that everyone is jealous of their bandness. We went to a U. of Illinois band concert here that was full of band in-jokes that other audience members thought were hilarious!
2. Posted by teppo on December 19, 2006 @ 14:16 | Permalink
I recently, explicitly, told my daughters that they can't be in any bands (they are clear on the matter, and hopefully they'll also, despite their tender ages, start mocking bands soon;)! Band-people are weird, and not in any positive ways...
3. Posted by Justin on December 19, 2006 @ 15:07 | Permalink
I'm waiting for videos of Gordon's KISS tribute band to make Youtube.
4. Posted by Gordon Smith on December 19, 2006 @ 15:16 | Permalink
Fortunately, Justin, video recording was both primitive and expensive in those days. I am pretty certain that no footage was taken. So you will have to take my word for it: we were awesome and everyone in the crowd wanted to be me!
5. Posted by D. Daniel Sokol on December 19, 2006 @ 15:46 | Permalink
Gordon,
Any chance that we can see you in full KISS gear this year at UW-- make-up, long hair and leather pants and have in captured on video or on a digital photo that can be uploaded to the Conglomerate Blog site? I would be willing to make a contribution to the charity of your choice and suspect that we could probably get other readers of this blog, your colleagues and students to contribute as well. How much does it take for you to look like Gene Simmons, do the tongue thing and help out starving children all at the same time? Think of it as our contribution to make the world a better place this holiday season.
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