I've seen hard lobbying before, but this literal love letter from the Chamber of Commerce to the Trans-Pacific Partnership is pretty next level. The big finish:
I love your trade promotion authority as if she were my own family. I’m ready to adopt her today if that would fast-track me to your heart. I can’t wait to call you my own and make sweet sweet economic progress with you.
Please be mine. I will be yours.
The American Business Community
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