April 30, 2005
Manure Matters
Posted by Gordon Smith

So I am reading the Wisconsin State Journal, and I come across this headline: "Task force will offer manure runoff solutions." The subheading is: "One of the options might be to provide regional manure digesters." Welcome to Wisconsin.

Of course, this also set me to thinking about those Seinfeld episodes where George analyzes the word "manure."

George raises the topic in two episodes. In the first (called The Soup), he is on a walk in Central Park with Kelly, a waitress in Monk's diner. This is sort of a first date, and a horse with a rider walks by:

Kelly: I’m just doing this waitress thing for a while, because I wanted to go to Europe this summer and I could use a few extra ... Careful (she points to the ground, so George will see the fresh horse manure and avoid stepping in it)

George: Oh. It's just horse manure (huh huh - laughs, he points back at the horse that walked by) Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word “manure.” You know, it's, it's “nure,” which is good. and   a “ma” in front of it. MA-NURE. When you consider the other choices, “manure” is actually pretty refreshing.

(George glances at his watch)

Kelly: That's a nice watch George.

George: Yeah.

Kelly: You know, my boyfriend has the same one.

George: Huh. Really?

Kelly: Yeah, he loves watches. He's a real watch freak.

George: Well, how about that?

Kelly: Ooh look out. (pointing at the ground - squishing sound) You stepped right in it.

George: Yes, I sure did.

George later realizes that the boyfriend reference was just Kelly's way of ending the relationship before it is even started. For some reason, George decides to try the manure line again in The Cadillac (2), but this time the woman on the other end is Marisa Tomei:

George sits on a bench with Marisa Tomei. He's mid-speech, and Marisa's looking interested, smiling and laughing.

GEORGE: ...So, anyway, if you think about it, manure is not really that bad   a word. I mean, it's 'newer', which is good, and a 'ma' in front of it, which   is also good. Ma-newer , right?

MARISA: (laughing) You're so right. I never thought of it like that. Manure. 'Ma' and the 'newer'.

Marisa laughs and George is smiling happily.

MARISA: Did you just make that up?

GEORGE: What, you think I'm doing material here?

MARISA: (laughs) No, no. It's hard to believe anyone could be so spontaneously funny.

GEORGE: (modest) And I'm a little tired.

Marisa laughs again, then speaks, still smiling, but more seriously.

MARISA: So, tell me, how is it that a man like you, so bald, and so quirky and funny, how is it you're not taken?

GEORGE: Well, Marisa. See, the thing is... I'm sort of engaged.

Marisa's face falls in disappointment.


GEORGE: I'm, you know, engaged.

Marisa's expression turns to anger. She swings a fist and punches George in the face, then grabs her bag and storms away. George feels the painful spot where he received the blow.

If you were paying attention, you noticed the switch from MA-NURE to MA-NEWER. The latter obviously makes more sense because George says "NEWER" is good. The farmers near my home agree, and they have been spreading a lot of it lately. It may be good for the crops, but it is deadly when you're cycling up a hill next to a freshly treated field. Ugh!

Miscellany | Bookmark

TrackBacks (0)

TrackBack URL for this entry:

Links to weblogs that reference Manure Matters:

Recent Comments
Popular Threads
Search The Glom
The Glom on Twitter
Archives by Topic
Archives by Date
January 2019
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31    
Miscellaneous Links