A consortium of scientists from across the nation released a study shortly after midnight last night that seems to answer once and for all whether men and women are genetically slanted toward science or the arts. The lead author of the study, Dr. Unum Aprilis, explained that scientists tracked students at 1200 high schools for ten years to determine what caused women to go into sciences at lower rates than men. The culprit: lab tables.

The study effectively isolated a chemical substance released in female brains when female subjects attempted to process information while seated with three other classmates at a rectangular table.  This chemical substance then slowed down brain wave activity for the entire time that the subject was seated at the table. The study showed that women who thrived in science classes and went on to claim that discipline as their own attended high schools that did not have lab table arrangements. These schools had hybrid rooms with desks and individual lab stations.

As the scientists became intrigued, they expanded their probe. Amazingly, they found that when male students are asked to "put our desks in a circle," the same chemical substance is released, slowing down male brain waves. Correspondingly, male students who were asked in English classes to sit in a circle formation showed frustration with the subject and switched their attention to other classes.

Interestingly, this study was held up because of strong lobbying from the dominant maker of lab tables in the U.S.

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